Post by OB1SAM on Jan 7, 2007 23:05:48 GMT -5
THIS WILL BE US SOMEDAY
WHERE AM I?
An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher:
"They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal & even the accelerator!" she cried.
The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way."
A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." He
says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."
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FAMILY
3 sisters ages 92, 94 & 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in & pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"
The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up & see."
She starts up th e stairs & pauses . "Was I going up the stairs or down?"
The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea
listening to her sisters. She shakes her head & says, "I sure
hope I never get that forgetful," as she knocked on her wooden table for good measure. "
She then yells, "I'll come up & help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."
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"I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!"
3 retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?"
"No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday."
And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."
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WHAT A CHOICE
A little old lady was running up & down the halls in a nursing home.
As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown & say,"Supersex."
Sh e walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair.
Flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex."
He sat silently for a moment or two & finally answered,
"I'll take the soup."
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OLD FRIENDS
2 elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities & adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One
day,they were playing cards when one looked at the other & said, "Now don't get mad at me I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought & thought, but I can't remember it.
Please tell me what your name is."
Her friend glared at her. For at least 3 minutes she just stared & glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
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SENIOR DRIVING
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him,
"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!"
"Hell," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!!!"
;D ;D ;DOB1SAM/samdon